Are you ready to unleash your power by letting go of judgment? Tune into the inspiring "How Are Empowered Women Using Judgment-Free Living To Create A Life They Love?" podcast as Kristine and Janette dive deep into the life-changing practice of non-judgment. Discover how embracing acceptance over criticism, for yourself, others, and every situation that arises, opens the door to true freedom. By getting off the relentless judgment train, you create space for curiosity, objectivity and the opportunity to steer your life's journey with intention. Whether facing life's biggest challenges or the smallest daily moments, non-judgment unlocks profound joy. Let Kristine and Janette's powerful insights motivate you to courageously adopt a judgment-free mindset and finally create a life you wholeheartedly love.
#JudgmentFreeLife #RadicalAcceptance #EmpoweredWomen #JoyfulLiving #MindsetShift #NonJudgment #LiveWithIntention #Icreatedalifeilove #genexers #cancer #cancersurvivor #bebrave
Are you ready to unleash your power by letting go of judgment? Tune into the inspiring "How Are Empowered Women Using Judgment-Free Living To Create A Life They Love?" podcast as Kristine and Janette dive deep into the life-changing practice of non-judgment. Discover how embracing acceptance over criticism, for yourself, others, and every situation that arises, opens the door to true freedom. By getting off the relentless judgment train, you create space for curiosity, objectivity and the opportunity to steer your life's journey with intention. Whether facing life's biggest challenges or the smallest daily moments, non-judgment unlocks profound joy. Let Kristine and Janette's powerful insights motivate you to courageously adopt a judgment-free mindset and finally create a life you wholeheartedly love.
#JudgmentFreeLife #RadicalAcceptance #EmpoweredWomen #JoyfulLiving #MindsetShift #NonJudgment #LiveWithIntention #Icreatedalifeilove #genexers #cancer #cancersurvivor #bebrave
Hello everyone, welcome to I Created a Life I Love. Welcome back, hi everyone. This is Kristine and Janette, and we're your hosts of I Created a Life I Love, and we are talking this month about judgment, so that's our topic. We've looked into judging ourselves and that you know really critical voice in your head, judging others and today, what I think is really cool and has been a huge thing that has changed literally changed my life, has been judging situations. So we're going to get into that, but let's start with what's up. What's up, Janette?
Janette Rodriguez:Hi everyone. So in my journey of exploring Las Vegas, I went back to Red Rock Canyon and I actually talked to a couple of volunteers there and they encouraged me to do a training which I'm all signed up for, I'm ready to go, and it's so cool because they have a turtle or tortoise section where you give the turtles baths or water time and then, yeah, it's interesting interesting, but we're giving them baths, are you sure? Yeah, I like a cleaning or of some sort.
Kristine Spindler Denton:And then there is yeah, yeah picture in my head now of you and a tortoise, you know, giving the tortoise a bath.
Janette Rodriguez:That's now there, right there, I know I it might be something completely different, but that's what I interpreted. So also there's like trail maintenance. There's the visitor center where you give people, you know, information about the different hikes, and so it's just so cool because Red Rock is so close and I've always wanted to live near a scenery area where I can just go escape the busyness of a city. So it's really cool to have that very close and I'm really excited. So can't wait for this training.
Kristine Spindler Denton:I'll let you guys know how it is. Yay, I'm very excited. We will need pictures, for sure, for sure, I hope you get like one of those outfits you know, like all, like they always have the all in, like camel color. Yeah, the ranger, yeah, yeah.
Janette Rodriguez:The ranger.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Yes, yes, I want a full ranger gear outfit is what I would like to see in pictures, and we're going to send people to come take pictures with you. That's what we're going to do. I love it. Let's see my what's up this week. For those of you following along on the cancer journey, it was a much better week this week. We had a better week. I had a very we've. We've gone through a couple of very tough weeks with the loss of my dog and then, um, an injury, um, throughout my back and just feeling really pretty crappy. So it's been a tough couple of weeks, but we are definitely out the other side. I really used a lot of the techniques that we've been writing about and talking about. So, to be honest, I was like let's see you apply them, girl, you know talking about them.
Janette Rodriguez:Let's see the application.
Kristine Spindler Denton:There you go, let's see the application. So that's what I did and I am telling you it was really helpful. I took extra moments to use a mug that I'd loved or to really make sure, and I ordered a couple of teas that I'm like so expensive and I don't want to do that right now, but I know how happy those teas and those flavors made me and I'm like I'm ordering them. And then they just arrived the other day and I've been having them every day and, um, you know, my cup here and just makes me oh, this is from my daughter, like she, when she was traveling, she bought me this. But, yeah, so here the cup, so thinking of my daughter, and then drinking my favorite tea, and I made it, you know, very much as a ritual and something special and something that should be respected and that I deserved time for. And it's been great, like slowing down, taking those moments, like, yes, I have 20 emails to return. I have, you know, five things that are due right now, but even though I'm home and recuperating, I'm still working, and not just this, so for everybody, because I have a couple other writing things that I do on the side and at home as a single parent, and so those haven't stopped and which I'm glad about. It's kept my mind, as we were discussing last week, my mind needs to be going, so it's kept my mind busy.
Kristine Spindler Denton:But I've really forced myself, when I was feeling sad and struggling in the last couple of weeks, to find ways to make myself joyful, and what was really cool is what I did my, you know this is hard to do when you're in an office space, so I understand I'm very, you know, lucky, not however you want to look at it, but because of my recoup healing time from my last cancer surgery, I'm home and so I only can work remotely right now. Anyway, that I, every hour, at the top of the hour, my alarm would go off and I would just take even five seconds to just take a couple of deep breaths, and sometimes it'd be like I deserve a chocolate right now, or I deserve my tea right now, or I, you know, oh, I'm going to get my other pillow right now, or oh, I want to get into something more comfy right now, whatever you know, or I want five minutes sitting out in the sun in my favorite chair. But I really, really worked on giving myself multiple, multiple moments every day of stopping and feeling joy, and yeah it. I will tell you that it really really made a difference this last, last week in getting me through it. Not only getting me through it, but making me, like, feel happy through some difficult things and laughing and you know, you know, just having some good moments. So there you go, that's my what's up. Well, we're talking about this week.
Kristine Spindler Denton:We looked at judging yourself, as we said, and judging others, which you know. We're hoping. Um, you realize how much judging others, um, and the whole point of this whole month is how much judging hurts you, how much it absolutely stops any cool, fun, great, positive, joyful journey that you're on, how it stops it dead in its tracks and turns it around and turns it into something negative. Because you can't be feeling joyful and grateful in your moment for your life if you're focused on judging something, whatever it is. They can't live together at the same time, so you have to choose one. So if you're choosing judgment, you are giving up that sense of curiosity and awe. You can't be curious about something and asking questions and saying, well, I wonder how this will turn out, or I wonder you know what will happen next. You can't be asking those questions and being objective and open. If you're judging, you can't do both at the same time. So as soon as you start judging, you turn things into you know, just just bad situation. Nothing can come from it. So for me, what this is really about not judging a situation you all know where this is going.
Kristine Spindler Denton:For me, when I got diagnosed with cancer, how to not judge that as bad and I know I'm going to hear a lot of comments about this and what I'm going to say next and all of that One. If you listen to last week's podcast, you'll know that that's not going to affect me, the comments that you might be writing and you'll know why. So hopefully everyone goes back and listens to the last episode because it was a doozy last week. So listen to that. But I decided after I picked my job off the floor when I was told I had cancer, that I had been on this journey for me for months at that, about five months, not that long, right, I mean it had been a while for me to start practicing and doing something. I was reading every book possible from every type of spiritual leader, scientific information, all of this stuff and studying because, as you guys all know, jeanette and I are both educators and we are very much learners, continuous learners all the time, and I read like there is no tomorrow. And so that's what I had been doing, and studying and learning as much as I could and I decided, as I said, after I got past the shock, after I got past my initial reaction and this is only me.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Everyone has their own experience and everyone has a right to feel and to handle their life in their way, as long as you're not hurting somebody else that's the whole point is that we don't do it the their way, as long as you're not hurting somebody else. That's the whole point is that we don't do it the same way, and that's what's really cool. So stop trying to compare, stop saying, if someone shares their way, that they're trying to say others should do it that way. No, just everyone do their own thing. And for me, what that was if I was being honest and authentic with myself five months into my journey that I promised myself I was going to take to find more joy, to really create a life I love the only way I could do that was if I didn't judge getting cancer as bad I had to let go of that and I had to cling to acceptance, and that meant full acceptance. It didn't mean being fake happy about it. I didn't, you don't have. You know, that's not the point.
Kristine Spindler Denton:The point was accepting, and you know newsflash to myself it was here no matter what, like, let's be honest, right, it was here no matter what. So fighting against it to me, for me, was the wrong thing to do, and what I knew I had to do was was full embracing, full acceptance and leaving. You know, letting go of all judgment, all judgment as to that this was going to be a negative ride for the next year, to how many of my life. I had to let that completely go with and have full acceptance and stay objective and be like. I wonder where this journey is going to take me. And that's what I tried. That is where I'm at, like, and Jeanette knows it's a daily struggle because there are days you don't want to accept it and you want to go into that. I wish it were different mode, but oh yeah, yeah Right, and we all do. And Janette's going to tell her stories and how to in the second, but so everyone's gone through. And you to tell her stories and how to in a second, but so everyone's gone through, and you don't have to have cancer to struggle with this Like again.
Kristine Spindler Denton:No, comparing anyone. No one's situation is worse or better than anyone else's. Everyone's going through stuff. Everyone's going through stuff and so if somehow you can get to acceptance, or the faster you can get to real acceptance and objectivity about the world around you and what's happening, the more that you are going to have joy, the more you're going to learn, the more you're going to grow. But none of that stuff can get in there. If, like, judgment is the door right, judgment's the door that you're slamming shut from all that other stuff coming in, and acceptance, you know, is the window you open or the back door you open around the other side to let all that stuff in, and it will only come with acceptance, you just and accepting all of it.
Janette Rodriguez:Yeah, yeah, and it's hard. It's hard to go to that mindset because, as we said previous podcasts, you know sometimes you just go to that oh my gosh, shock, negativity, and but then when you really reflect on it, you know you don't get anywhere with that, like you said before, and acceptance is something that's huge, it's really huge.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Yeah, and I think. So that's for big things, right? So we're talking about cancer, disease, a divorce, a death, a loss, I mean being fired, some big things happening in your life. The response is always that it's bad, that it's a negative, that it's completely a negative and you wish it were different, that it's a negative, that it's, you know, completely a negative and you wish it were different. Other way that we really have to look at this is not only with those big things, but with all the little things that we do every day, right. So you wake up in the morning and, like the outfit I had laid out for tomorrow, my dog kicked on the floor. So that's now on the floor, and so the immediate response is like damn it, and that you know you might not even get that upset, Right, but it's just oh damn. And then you move on. But that's still judgment, those little like you.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Everything you look at, it's funny. When you start noticing it, it is almost impossible to walk into a room to sit up, to sit down, to get up in the morning, to turn a corner without your head, without you judging. Something Like when you start noticing how much you do it. It's a constant, it's insane. It's such a knee jerk reaction. You know what I mean With everything you walk in the room oh, it's warm in here, you know, it's just any little thing. I turned on my TV and it was on this weird setting thing that it does every once in a while. That drives me nuts and I have to go back and then reset this. And it drives me nuts that it does it. So I turned the TV off. It takes me three seconds, yeah, Like it's no big deal. But again, I'm not even that mad. But it's just such the reaction that every single thing that happens is good or bad, Everything.
Janette Rodriguez:Yeah, it's so ingrained in us. It is Even like going from my car going into a store. You know how cars are passing by and it's a common courtesy for them to stop for you so you can cross into. You know to go, walk into the store. But there's just some cars that go and they speed up and I'm like, wow, that was really jerky. You know like it was. Yeah, and automatically I want to do that judgment of like what the heck is up with them. Jeez, louise, man, I am just like ugh.
Kristine Spindler Denton:But you know that's out in the parking lot flipping people off.
Janette Rodriguez:I man, I swear I don't flip them off, but I'm just like. I give them a look like really, come on.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Yeah, that's judgment, that's that All of it. I'm telling you. I will challenge anyone here to try and go like two hours. I am not kidding you, because the problem is is you're not even going to be able to identify as many times as you have judged within those two hours, because it is.
Kristine Spindler Denton:This is, as I said, it's changed my life from how I'm dealing with cancer and the way I'm looking at every part of this, and it is not a simple or easy thing to do, but it's something I'm trying to practice, everything single day. But it's also changed my life in the fact of trying to catch myself doing it more with the little things. Right, I'm working on the big thing over here, but then I've got the little things over here that I'm trying to not do and it's damn near impossible. Is what I'm saying? I'm just saying it is so hard. I think I might be catching like every fourth time and trying to stop it. Maybe I'm getting, I'm. I think I might be at about 20 to 25%. That's the way. So I'm failing, right, that's enough, right.
Janette Rodriguez:But that's I'm probably at one, so I'm 1%.
Kristine Spindler Denton:But it's so hard because, just everything you do, you go to turn on the water, it's too hot or it's too cold, you take a sip of your coffee and it's just that. And again, we don't have to go crazy because, like liking things or not liking things and and personalizing things for yourself and having preferences is not bad. But I think if you listen, there's um, the other teacher, oh, eckhart Tolle. If you listen to Eckhart Tolle and if you listen to any of his stuff, he talks about this a lot too, of being able to not judge at all. It's, it's so hard, is all I can say. But he says the same thing too that you just take away. You put yourself in a cage at that point, because as soon as you are judging something good or bad because if you're judging something's going to be really, really great, really really great If it isn't't and doesn't end up being great, it's destroyed. Do you know what I mean? You're not meeting it anywhere on an even keel or on a neutral state, and it doesn't mean you can't be extremely happy that certain things happen and express joy and all of that. Of course you can, of course you can express all those things and enjoy a moment, because that's different. Saying something is something that you enjoy is different than you're saying it's good, do you know what I mean? Or that it's a positive thing in your life versus a negative.
Kristine Spindler Denton:I think the story I wish I had the story, I should have brought it today. But there's a Zen story out there about a man and his horse. Have you ever heard that? No, well, just the gist of it, because I'm going to butcher it and thank God, all of you will put it somewhere in our comments and email us and tell me what I butchered and what it truly is. But basically, it's just certain events keep happening to this man and people say, oh, that's really sad, I'm sorry that happened to you, or that's really good. And they never, never turned out being what they thought they would be Like.
Kristine Spindler Denton:He's like lost, I think. He has a horse or something like that, and then he loses and someone steals the horse. So everyone's like, oh, that's so bad, that's such bad news. And and the man, I think, says something very even keeled, like you know, we'll have to see, or let's see, or wait and see, or something along those lines, or just you know he's again staying to the neutral, he's not putting judgment on it. And then next comes into town. The army comes into town, wants to take his son, or something like that, and the son can't go because he doesn't have a horse. So then it's good right that the horse was gone and that he wasn't there.
Kristine Spindler Denton:And then something happens like breaks one leg, and they're all like, oh, that's really bad or sad that that happened. But then something else happens and because he has a broken leg he can't go do it, which is a bad. And then there's like, oh well, that's good that you got out of that or that, you know, you didn't have to do that. And so again, everyone around him keeps telling him that every event that is happening in his life is good or bad. It's a good thing if this happens, it's a bad thing if this happens. And what is so interesting is that what actually how that event affects the next thing that happens in his life always ends up to be kind of the opposite of what was thought to be in his life, always ends up to be kind of the opposite of what was thought to be.
Kristine Spindler Denton:So my point being, if you are judging something so much and you're so sure something is a positive or you're so sure that it's going to be a negative situation, the universe is going to give you what you're so sure is going to happen, right.
Kristine Spindler Denton:There's no way for it to be anything other.
Kristine Spindler Denton:We are very powerful beings and you're going to make the situation what it is If you're so sure it's going to be anything other.
Kristine Spindler Denton:We are very powerful beings and you're going to make the situation what it is If you're so sure it's going to be a bad deal and a negative situation. And you go in there with that mindset, determined that it's going to suck or be bad in some way. Trust me, you're going to make it bad, just all on your own. It's going to be bad. You're not going to be able to see any of the good, right. You're not going to be able to see the positive. So you've closed the door for yourself. And that's the problem that I'm saying that not only does judging hurt other people and not only does, you know, negative talk in your head hurt you and your mental health, but judging situations that you are in, that happened to you in life, as always, being one way or the other, it just leaves you so in a cage. You lose all objectivity, you lose all freedom to have any curiosity about what might come about other things that might happen. It's just. You absolutely put yourself in a box.
Janette Rodriguez:Yeah, that is very true, and it kind of goes back to a little bit of what we talked about last week about you know, people commenting on social media. That's kind of like a judgment as well, you know. And yes, definitely when, like if I hear somebody or you know somebody's telling me about their situation, I feel like I'm like, oh, I have to say something.
Janette Rodriguez:you get what I'm saying, like, yeah, yeah yeah, and and half the time I'm like, damn it, did I say the right thing? Did I, you know, like because I could have said something completely off, tangent, away from that situation? Or did I address the situation? Or should I just listen and be like huh, like you know, all these different things are always going in my mind when I'm, you know, listening or observing a particular type of situation, particular type of situation. So it's interesting to kind of like, oh well, let it be, you know, and to do kind of like, well, let's see, let's be neutral, I need, I would love to try it.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Yeah, yeah, well, exactly, like, exactly. And I will tell you that it's really hard to do. I almost think it's funny with this with most things, you start with something small and do the small things first and build up to something big. I feel, with this practice for me anyway, it's been easier to do the big, it was easier for me to accept the cancer and to really fully embrace this journey and be like all right, it's an adventure. I have no idea what's going to happen, so we're just going to go on it.
Kristine Spindler Denton:I'm not going to say good, I'm not going to say bad, we're just going to accept that I'm on this journey, I'm on this bus now we're going, but I'm going to drive the bus and how we're going to drive, how we're going to go Cause I'm picking the music I'm going to drive the bus and how we're going to drive, how we're going to go, because I'm picking the music, I'm picking the lighting, I'm picking the pace. We're going at right, like all of that. I'm going to make it as joyful as I can possibly be throughout this journey. Right, if I have to go on this journey with cancer, I'm driving the bus. I, if I have to go on this journey with cancer. I'm driving the bus, I am taking control of my acceptance of it and my and finding the joy in it. Like no one gets to tell me how to go through this. No one has a say whatsoever on how I do it, and I'm going to do it to please myself. Every single part of it is I'm going to take care of myself.
Kristine Spindler Denton:And so when you become more selfish like that, then you're more protective of how you are, of how the words that you say, the thoughts that you have, the judgment that you have you are. You're very I'm very protective of my body now of my entire body, and that includes my mental health, part of my body. But I have become very protective of the fact that I am here for a very short time and that I am here to live it my way. My unique self as Christine would live this life. This isn't how Jeanette would handle cancer. You know. This isn't how you know my daughters would have nothing. This is how Christine is handling it, and I am very protective that I get to do it that way and that then spills off to everything else, and so it's, you know.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Then you're more protective of how you're going to handle work, you're more protective of your relationships and how you're going to handle your relationships and you don't want to be stuck in judgment. You just, you know what I mean, you just don't. It's so much more joyful and fun to have fun, you know, it just is. And you're only having fun if you're open and curious, right, and if you're just accepting and saying, oh, I wonder how that's going to go, oh, I wonder what's that going to be, I wonder, I don't know, and not predetermining in any negative or even in a positive way, like to just be open and life, you know, be what it's going to be and celebrate it as you go. So I think that's really important and I think I think we've kind of, you know, gone over that to death. But I just think it is so important to let go of judging situations.
Janette Rodriguez:All right, so now for our moment of joy.
Janette Rodriguez:All right, so my moment of joy is going to be a scenery picture of my wedding, in which I got married in Hawaii yeah and my photographer amazing photographer captured the sunset and it was beyond gorgeous and it just brings back those good memories of you know the day and how it went and how I was just so grateful that everybody was went over to celebrate me, because Hawaii is not the you know it's pretty pricey and for people to make a commitment to go and hang out and celebrate you know, my husband and I, it was really amazing. So that is my moment of joy.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Beautiful, gorgeous, gorgeous. You look gorgeous. Hey, everybody looked amazing and happy and beautiful in the pictures. Mine is again I mentioned this last time. I'm not going real far, so we're finding, but again it's been wonderful because that challenge has made me really find ways of just bringing all the joy from and notice right, the things around me. So I have I think they're pronounced canna lilies, and I have red ones in my backyard and they are really tall and skinny and have these amazing, gorgeous red flowers, and so that is what my picture is of one of those blooms and it's just gorgeous and they're in my backyard and blooming like crazy right now and it just, it just brings me so much joy to go out there and just sit out in the sun in the afternoon, have my tea. Again, this has been one of my moments of joy that I've used, you know, for many days in a row just to sit and kind of meditate and focus just on, um, the flowers. So it's been amazing and they're beautiful.
Kristine Spindler Denton:So make sure to send us your moment of joy at I created a life I love um at gmailcom. You can go on our website Um, uh, I created a life I lovecom and see all the pictures we're posting, as many as we can, and trying to make sure everyone gets to have um, a moment of joy up on our board. Um, but I highly suggest that, um, other than trying to count how many times you judge that that little one, try and put together like um every week. Like you can do a little together every week. You can do it easily on Canva. Which is fun is to just post a picture a day and create a little collage. You can do it on Google, you can do it anywhere. Just put a picture up or something up that brought you joy and then you put that all together and at the end of the year you have 52 little collages of all the joy that you had throughout the year.
Kristine Spindler Denton:It's a great thing to look back on on New Year's. My daughters and I always try and kind of do something as far as remembering days and reminding yourself. One of the problems of finding joy can be that you really forget, right. We pretty quickly forget, you know, the last time we felt a moment of joy. So you know kind of tracking it, just like you're kind of doing with the gratitude I know most people are keep some sort of gratitude journal journal.
Kristine Spindler Denton:I think it's really fun to document your times of laughter and joy because, um, hopefully it'll bring you even more joy when you look back on it. So it's like you know double double what's up. Oh, we have our Monday, um, our Monday minutes, so we just released another Monday minute. So, again, please use those. I had to, uh, had a tough day, uh day, about four days ago and I used Monday Minute, I think, like six times throughout the day. I'm like I just need to hear the ocean right now and not think about anything else. And they're on YouTube if you just click on shorts, and they also have some fun, cool little messages. What is up for next week? What are we talking about next week?
Janette Rodriguez:So next week we are going to be talking about the joyful journey mindset.
Kristine Spindler Denton:Oh yeah, I like this. I think this is good. This is the path I'm on. I highly recommend it. It's been definitely life-changing for me as to how to look at things, and the way that your perception of something determines everything about it, so it's a fun one. Yay, all right, everybody, go out and create a life that you love and have a wonderful week. Bye everyone.